Tuesday, November 16, 2010

The endless cycle

So since I use this blog as my own version of therapy I guess it is time for my latest session.
I would like to discuss something that has been weighting on my brain for a bit. It is a cycle that I have noticed in some people.
My Ex has decided to finally bring the girlfriend out of the shadows and on to Facebook, if he wouldn't mind taking down our wedding photos first or of me pregnant or videos of us. Little closure to the last family before you start the next one.
So here's the thing I have in the true sense of me have been digging for some information. Here is what I have learned. He has a cycle, any relationship he starts must start before the last one ends. There is always cheating involved, no matter how much he denys it. He then will keep the new girl low key and stay only in the circle of mutual friends, meaning anyone close enough to know both sides of what happened in the last relationship is out. he blends into her life with promises of love and companionship that could span 2 lifetimes, he's lying just so you know. He will then proceed to test this girl by either pulling out all of his best sob stories and how he has been so wronged and misunderstood. This too is a lie he needs sympathy and female attention at any turn. Make no mistake about it his loyalites are to himself and himself alone. After this girl has learned to deal with the constant barrage of phone calls text messages and any girl in a 5 mile radious is encouraged to practicly climb him in any attempt to see how far she will let him go. Also during this time if she opts for her own space it will be met with "Sure honey no problem" it will probably come out that he was with another girl on that night, my favorite part of that is when he would bring them to MY home to entertain them.
Soon the I love yous start and the deep meaningful stares, beware these are bullshit too. He will seem popular until it ends and you find out that most if not all your friends thought that he was a moron who complained too much and thought that he knew everything. You then look back and realize that there was always a lot of smiling and nodding when he would talk. This is also the point where you realize you were in love with him and he never had any intention of loving you back. This statement will constantly ring in my ears "If I had know that this (6months of cheating on his last girlfriend) would turn into me falling in love with you, I would have ended it before so that you didn't have to question how much I only want to be with you".
Here is my problem, I never trusted him, not a single day and I was harassed for that constantly. How can you be married to someone and not trust them? The answer, you don't. You must trust someone to love them. You must be honest to get trust.
Well as far as I can tell he is back to his mousey plain Jane teacher type. They usually are remarkablly similar in looks to his sister or his mother. Freud much?
Just remember when a girl/woman will enter into a relationship with a man who is first, still married. Second not doing anything to take care of his son, like not paying his child support. Last but definatly not least has a restraining order against him, and has to be supervised to see his kid. Which I might add he cuts every visit short to 90 minutes only. Do you honestly think he is telling the truth?
Do you think his family is stable when each sibling has alcohol or drug problems. A sister that has to reak violence on anyone who quetions her.
Plus like he has said, "Pretty girls are too high maintenance, I'm going back to the others."
All I can say is I'm sure there will be back lash from this because we all know your never allowed to say anything truthful, might tarnish the stellar reputation he "thinks" he has.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Jenn, my name is Kim Moss. I am Albert Porter's girlfriend. Say what you want about me, air your dirty laundry in public, trash your husband, do whatever makes you feel better. Just remember this; you have a son, who has a father. You may have many beefs with said father, some justified, some not but to keep a child from his father is hateful and cruel. You are doing that boy an injustice. I see a man who cries every day because he has a hole in his heart where his son should be and if that's one of his sob stories then it's a pretty damn good one. Things didn't work for you guys, ces't la vie. He's trying to move forward and you need to too. If it puts you to ease at all, we were not involved in any sort of way, except for a passing friendship, until well after yours had ended. I do not seek men who have girlfriends let alone wives. I believe that you are a good person who loves her son very much. I also believe that you are hurting right now and don't know what to do with all that pain. Sometimes the easiest way to deal with things is with anger but you are not helping yourself and you are certainly not helping your son. Life is good if you make it so. Good luck Jenn, we all deserve to be happy and this includes you.