Saturday, November 21, 2009

Let's talk about the R word

Resposibility, This is the topic that is on my mind at this time. Not the typical resposibilities that come with everyday life. No I'm talking about taking a little common sense responsibility. You know when you see an older person struggling with a heavy load of groceries and they need help with the door, Help them. A mother has 2 children that seem to be getting away from her just cast your eyes to the one farthest away and keep them there. Most of the time it doesn't take the effort that you think it would and even if there is no thank you, you know that no one got their hip broken and no on ended up on a milk carton. Ok that's a bit drastic but sometimes the worst case does happen and it happens to more and more people everyday. These people could have been helped from pulling open a door or just being able to see where the other child wandered to.
My growing concerns with society seems to be coming to a much larger head than I thought. I see so many things in everyday life that can be helped. I do it. I don't do it for the recognition or as some call it "the glory". I seem to have a need to help others and have always had it, I don't think it's some thing that I can ever get rid of. I do unfortunatly have a need now to get others involved. I have come to a wonderful conclusion, People seem to just need a little guildance and they will be very willing to give what they can of their time and sometimes of their finances.
This something that gives me the warm fuzzies, like kittens and dryer lint it's warm and cuddly and just good for the soul. I think my train of thought is wavering I may have to end this quickly or it will turn into a run on.
Ok so short sweet and to the point. Just do it, Hold the door, Cast the eyes, say excuse me, say please, and don't complain about the world and the people in it if you have no intention of trying to be a better person in a better world. Nothing ever gets fixed by bitching about it. The more that you complain the more it snowballs.
Do I have to say it again? Ok hear it is Help others and it will help you.

Much love much caring and much respect

Monday, November 9, 2009

Oh how the time gets away from me

This has been a crazy month. So many things that I would love to share but either can't, won't, or even shouldn't. Wow that might make for an unbearable piece to read.
First thing to all parents PLEASE research any kind of vaccination you are planning on giving your child. To each their own but at least be informed.
Too many people have just been jabbing a needle in their childs arm without even the slightest idea what they are putting in or if their child is in need of this vaccine.
Yes H1N1 is scary but you need to look at the facts of those that get it and the reasons it wasn't recognized or dealt with in time. This is why I say BE INFORMED don't go hyper vigillant of ever little thing your child touches, or in my sons case licks. My son has had a chest cold and he is fine, all parents know what it's like to watch that thermometer start to rise past your comfort zone. The number 104 is the scariest number to any parent. Ok I'm done with that no more scary flu talk.

Alex on the other hand has started to make his weekly trips to Nannie and Grampas house. I have learned that when you are the one who is getting him ready to be picked up it is not wise to utter these words, "Is it Nannie and Grampa day?". This will prompt my young prince to go downstairs and start to put on shoes and yell at the top of his lungs, "Nae Nae Nannie Nannie Grampa Grampa Grampa". This does continue until we get on the shoes and my parents show up. Sometimes that feels like an eternity.
He then spends the day running errands, surpisingly enough he loves it anything where he gets to push a cart of any kind is usually well received. He then gets to go back to Nannie and Grampas for a sleepover. This usually consists of eating dinner play time and bath time. The best part is when Hockey comes on and he gets his cheering lesson from Grampa. It's sort of looking like blasting off from his Einstein show but it ends with a big YAY and much clapping and running around. I can figure out who gets happier about the time spent together, him or them. Might have to look into a tie on that one.
Best part of it all is he gets a break from us and we get to have sometime where it's not all about him and a little bit more about my husband and I.

And last but not least, The holiday season for most servers can be VERY lucritive and I plan on taking advantage of that as much as I can. That sounds bad, I am actually planning the first Adopt a Family for Christmas. It's basiclly what it sounds like you go to the United way and they pick a less fortunate family with children. You then buy the Christmas dinner and gifts for the family, you can also give clothes or extra food for after Christmas. My thought was this; We have all the restaurants on Elgin St. ( I have to start small the first year), ask thier servers bartenders hostesses and busser for a $2 donation per shift. When your staring at the 150 you made that shift it doesn't feel like as much of a bite in the pocket. Then we request that the restaurant owners match the donation this would mean that enough food and clothes could be bought for at least 6 families hopefullt getting them through the first part of winter.
My thought is that you never know when it will be you at the bottom, it can happen at the drop of a hat. So why not lay the Karmic ground work so to say, maybe then if it does happen to you the landing may be a bit softer or the climb back up a little easier.

All for now hope it was a bit to think on

Saturday, September 26, 2009

You can't please all the people all the time.

So as I get older I realize that the old saying, "You can make some of the people happy some of the time, but you can't make all the people happy all the time." It tends to ring a bit truer with the older you get and your life becomes more complicated. Be it whether you have taken on having children or getting married. If you take on more responsilbity at work. I unforntunatly have decided to do all of the above. I wouldn't say I'm a person that takes the easy way out, but I'm not the kind of person who tries to throw road blocks in my own way, (I do tend to get a little pissed if someone eles tries too).
I am at a crossroads in many relationships in my life. I tend to take on alot and that has started to spread me a little thin, the only thing I am not questioning is my love and undying devotion to my beautiful son. Mommy as always loves you.
I'm going to go through a day in my life, mant have stated that they wouldn't trade places with me for anything. I don't blame them.
First thing I do not like the amount I have to work, but I have to so no more complaining about that. I love what I do no matter how much I complain, I've worked hard to get where I am and I can feel the cusp of change.
My day can begin in many different ways, I can wake to my son calling out, my alarm going off,(most times before the sun comes up), occasionally I could wake up on my own. Those I can count on one hand in the last 6 months. I then proceed to either get my son cleaned up and fed before I wake up my husband so that I can take 15 minutes to get ready to go to work. I then leave my house to the mama no mum mum. This breaks my heart for about 8 hours till I grt to hug and kiss him again. Ususally I get to have some sort of fight with my husband as well which tends to set me back on my daily journey. So let's recap so far haven't been up for more than an hour and already I'm ready to crawl into a hole and die.
Now after either driving or walking to work I can walk in to a full restaurant where I have to dive ankle deep into it and start running right off he bat, usually to cranky cutomers, cranky staff, which will translate later into angry boss. I don't know why he just will be. Usually by 11am I have run the restaurant to a profit and myself into the ground. This day may result in a screaming match or 7 with Stanley and then on to lunch. This is a true test of my endurance I have to maintain the largest section in the restaurant, plus keep the kitchen and the rest of the staff moving. Maintain an eye on the door, keep Stan distracted from any problems and away from trying to throw people out, (be it staff or customers). I also have to deal with ant and all customer complaints, while still maintaining my customers that can be as many as 46 at a time this includes all and any of Stanleys friends a group of demanding condicending people. Sidebar, to the lawyers I am a server not a servent. Get it straight!
After lunch I deal with any issues that have occured and put those to bed. Then I can have any responsiblities from the schedule to pick ups for items that will be required for the evening or the next day. It can even go as far as going to pick up the bosses wife and driving her home. Fun fun.
Now I get to go home to my family, unless I have to go get groceries, pick up a prescription, or anything eles that I may need that I will be unable to run out and get after I get home. I walk in the door usually to the sounds of my sweetest baby boy calling for me. this is music to my ears.
My husband heads off to bed and my time with my son begins. We usually clean up any mess that has been made during the day, the big clean happens when he goes to bed. Now for fun, we go to the park, then to the store for a nice treat of chocolate milk then we go for a walk around the neighborhood and then home for dinner. I make his dinner and something for myself. While he eays like a big boy I go around and get his sippy cups and his bedtime bottles clean them and refill them so that they are ready for the next day.
Anybody tired yet? No time there is still laundry floors to clean a dog to feed and possibly walk as well, and I still have a tired boy who needs a bath and a cuddle and his shows. Sometimes he refuses to nap in the afternoon so bedtimes can be anywhere between 7 or 8 pm. He likes bathtime and he even likes bed time. YIPPIE! This makes me super happy and lucky.
After baths, snuggles, In the Night Garden watched, and bedtime routine has been followed he heads to bed and 99% of the time his head hits the pillow he's asleep, case closed ( I miss him already).
Now on to the bike exercise for me and laundry in the machine, afterwards I may field calls from my boss txt messages from employees. I get hte floors swept and ready for the next day get a shower, god willing and sit down to watch some T.V. In bed around 10pm asleep by usually 11 sometimes sleep doesn't come till midnight but such is life. My husband is gone to work my son is asleep and my mind has already started on how to make it that I can get home earlier so I can see my boy.
I miss him everyday all day I miss having an actual relationship with my husband.
I do it all for them and sometimes I find it hard but sometimes I'm the person that I can't make happy all the time.

Tata for now.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

What a Day

Ok so the entry is purely about the exahusting day I have had, and also the amazing realization I have come to about my boss. He trusts me! Now I understand that most people would not think this to be an amazing conclusion you would need to know my boss for at least a short period of time, or know someone who has worked for him and had to hear the repeated stories of insanity. You see Stanley is man of very few words but they must be abrasive, abusive and, loud, definately loud. This is why him and I get along as well as we do. He can dish it I can take it. Please make no mistake I can dish with the best of ther craziest of the restaurant owners,(because I have worked for them ALL).
So today was very busy, what we would normally sell on an average Sunday we sold by 10am. By 3pm we had sold 3 times the amount we would have sold. The strangest part is Stanley sat through the whole thing. Silent and smiling he watched us through out the day laughing and joking with us all. No yelling no screaming our names from the Kitchen door, I have to say Terry and I were afraid he had a stroke.
Stan calls me over and asks me to sit down, he puts his hand on my knee and says, "Kid I don't have a single complaint today. Your team did a great job. Make sure that they know it." I have to say this blew me away.
I had to send one staffer home at 11am, he had an appointment that I had forgotten about and just had to suck up the loss. I can say without hesitation I really thought there would be an expolsion of an extreme magnitude. All he did was ask "Why does he have to leave?" I explained it was my fault and he had to leave. He asked if I thought it would be ok and I said that it could be hard but I had faith that they could do it. he smiled and told me, "Ok go to it".
And go to it we did we ran he smiled, we sold and up sold and he smiled. he just couldn't stop smiling, seriously thought of stroke was on my mind. Please understand I don't mind him being happy as a clam, it just takes a bit to get used to.
I have spent many tiring hours changing staff shifts and times, working different shifts myself to see how staff interacts with each other and also how they are with the customers, ( I have some faithful regulars on all 3 shifts we have, that are always willing to share) and if the sales change from when I'm on the floor. the reason I do this is because my work has been plagued with very high staff turn over, this does not make my job easy. I wanted my job to be easier. Since I took over as GM I have only fired 2 people and have only had staff quit because of leaving the country or province. that means a great deal to me.
It's finally I think it might be getting easier. I have gained trust and confidance from my boss, one of the most notorious pricks in this game to date. it fills me with some awesome pride to know that all that hard work has finally paid off.

This one may not seem like alot to some and it might have put you to sleep but this was one of my best days.

more later, thank you.

Friday, September 18, 2009

All you need is Love

So to my distress I got that horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. You know the one I'm talking about, the one that makes you feel like the balance is off and evil seems to be winning the race.
Evil took a heavy lead on Wednesday at around 5pm. Melanie Harris was hit and dragged under an STO bus, she was pronounced dead on site. Out of respect for the dead I shall continue this post with what the first thing that came into my head when the whole thing really sunk in.
Love, all I could think of was Love.
The love that I have for my family the love I have for my friends, the love that I try to express to them everyday. I am accountable to all the people that I love, I am the only one responsible for making sure that they all know everyday the love I have for them. today I start to express it a little more.
To my husband, no one gets to walk out, even when we hate each other we love each other, I will say it as much as I can and show it even more than that. This I promise.
To my son, no matter how many tantrums you can throw, I can see past it. Even when your tired cranky or angry I will love you. You will become more independant and need to stand on your own feet, I will support this and be your biggest fan. I will love you and tell you this as much as I can everyday.
To my parents, Mom, we fight we disagree we don't always see eye to eye. I love you. You made me the person that I am today. I will promise to make sure you know how much you mean to me and how greatful for all the love you have given me and the love that we have yet to share.
Jerome, you may have came into my life in some of the more difficult time and I understand the difficulty that has had to be overcome. You never made me feel like less you never had me guessing if I was loved I knew I was. I was also very thankful that my Mom finally had someone who could love her the way she needed and deserved. You will always be loved.
To my friends, I am not as present as I used to be in your lives. For that I am sorry. I still miss you all in the times that I can't see you. You have never judgrd me and I hope I have returned the favor. You are my friends not because of what I can get from you but what I can learn and share with you. You are all loved and always will be in my heart.
This the only way I know how to put the love back into the Universe, and make it so that maybe Good can stop bringing up the rear.

Pass it on, if you love them let them know. Would you ever want to wonder how the people you love feel about you?

Just one more time I love you.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

How do they do it?

I have wondered almost everyday how my life would be now if I had opted to be a stay at home mom. Many woman had for many years done what I thought to be putting their dreams asperations and careers on hold to stay at home to raise the kids. I see now that I was really wrong!
Most of the women in my family are "Career Women", the bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan. They have for decades held down important jobs and held down the home front, I sometimes questioned whether I would be able to preform the tasks that they did with seemless effort and grace, not abead of sweat running down their brows. I now know that all the sweating was done in privacy and behind closed doors. I now have that same pained effortless smile that I belive that my Great Nannie created and my mother perfected.
Now down to my point, this blog is pretty much and ode to my aunt Cheryl and especially my friend Justine. these are 2 women who made me a hard core working mom see that there is so much joy in raising our children. I still everyday that I leave to go to work feel pangs of guilt that I have to shake off before I can really do my job,(sometimes not so easy).
My Aunt Cheryl stayed at home to raise 2 of the coolest, smartest, most intelligent kids I know. She will always be the first and the last to sing their praises she is the mother who knows when the hugs and kisses are needed and when she needs to let them stand on their own. She is now my sons Super Aunt Cheryl and she sings the same praises for him and for this I am greatful. She will always be there with hugs and kisses for him and for that I am forever indebted.
My friend Justine who has had the 2 most beautiful little girls, June is her animated polite and perfectly hilarious older daughter, and sweet Rose who is still quite young but very full of personallity and just about the most expressive eyes I've seen in a while. These 2 girls prove to keep their mother on her toes.
I went for a playdate at Justines home so Alex could see June and so I could finally in my busy day find time to see beautiful baby Rose, (who was born around the middle of May). When I first walked in Justine was sweeping the floor and preparing for our visit,she commented, "I'm trying to make my house clean like yours" I laughed in my own head thinking yea, I finally fooled someone into thinking I'm actually holding it all together. All I could think to honestly respond was, "You should see it now, not so clean".
After an exchange of many different stories and shared experiences I came to the conclusion that Justine thinks of me like some kind of Superwoman. I am not. I'm just a person who has a head consummed with what could happen or what I will need for such an occurance. My purse/diaper bag/ luggage holds all that I will ever need, or at least I hope.
Here's the thing I see my Aunt Cheryl and Justine as Superwomen. They manage to give their lives over to their chidren they put what they want and need on the backburners for the welfare and growth of the little ones minds, bodies, and souls. They truely deserve our love, respect, and compassion for all the sleepless nights, all the colds and fevers, all of the times that they had to give of themselves for the better of every person in their families.
So Justine the next time you think I have it so together, I'm think I'm just compinsating for the hugs and kisses I don't get to give all day, with my grand gestures.

P.S. Check the closets for piles of hidden clothes and toys before you think that I have any super powers.

Love to stay at home Moms XOXO

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

The Einstein Obsession

So i know that most parents will go through the favorite show phase with their kids. some like Dora the explorer, others it's Franklin. My son has one all time favorite, Disneys Little Einsteins. he enjoys following the adventures of Leo, Annie, June,Quincy and of course the best character in the show in my sons eyes, Rocket. this show impressed me from the start the premiss is 4 children with extraordinary talents for music and dance go around the world exploring and going on missions. The backgrounds are great works of art from the likes of VanGough, Divinci, Warhol and the music that plays in the background could be anywhere from Vivaldi to Mozart.
Now that you have the low down on the Einseins, I'll get to the point. In the begging of each episode there is alittle ritual they say "We've got a mission". They then run to board Rocket at which point my son runs up to the T.V or plants his butt in his chair and and begins the lap patting action that the children are encouraged to join in to help give rocket power. After the seatbelts are buckled and the power of lap patting has taken effect they then throw their hands in the air and yell "BLAST OFF".
Through out the rest of the episode, (which I might add we have purchased many DVDs of and Alexs grandpa has PVRed about 20 episodes), Alex will dance sing along and have a generally rockin good time. He has been able to say "Einstiens" before he could really say mama.
He's not the only one who enjoys it you can usually catch anyone such as myself, my husband, my parents, my aunt, or his cousin Ayv, singing the songs unknowinglly from time. It's catchy and fun and I am so happy that he has taken to a show like this.
There are times when we use Einstien referances to get him to comply with what we need him to do with out having a fit. It has gotten us through those long shopping trips where you have to get in and out of the car repeatedly. He can become a bit of a zombie on it, but he loves it so much he would probably watch it all day everyday if we would let him.
All I can really say is if he loves it then I love it.

That's all I've got for now more tomorrow.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Blast Off

So to anyone who wishes to know I've always wanted to write. My spelling is terrible, punctuation is not my thing. I don't really care. I have a story to tell about a life changed, a family made and the most beautiful little boy ever put on this earth, (if I do say so myself).
On Febuary 18th 2008 my husband Albert and I went into the hospital for a planned c-section. Most definatly not something of my choice. He was upside down and backwards from the start. If he had been any other way I would have thought it odd.
To say that my son Alexander would be an extraordinary child is not something I would do, others do it for me. it has been remarked by many that he is a hilarious child able to do the silliest things with the mosat serious expression on his face.
All parents will agree that they have the most beautiful child. I too agree with them, I come from the school of thought that ALL children are beautiful no ands ifs or butts on that issue.
I came to the conclusion that Alex was a beautiful boy when not only women would stop my husband or myself on the street to tell us he was, " So cute" but men in thier 20s and 30s would comment the same thing.
My son the boy who slept through the night at 3 weeks would spit out his soother on his own and never put it back in. the youg gentleman that plays quietly or reads his books and colors with out a need for supervision. He can feed himself his own dinner and knows when he wants to sleep. I would call him perfectly wonderful, but others do it for me.
He is the little one by my side and this blog might be about me sometimes on good days and bad, but he is the inspiration for all that I do and the reason I feel the need to share our lives is plainly, everyone needs a good laugh.

This is my first attempt, there will be more to come. hope you enjoy it